phyll

Hi-Bye.

2009-05-01T20:59:00.004+08:00

It's different.

How? I don't know.
Less?
More?

One thing's for sure - the strings attached.
I won't cut it.

It really sucks lah, Pudding. GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. :(

BY THE WAY, I'VE CHANGED MY BLOG.

:D

SHALL NOT ANNOUNCE THE URL ADDRESS HERE SINCE DUH,I DON'T REALLY WANT ANYONE TO KNOW, UNLESS YOU'RE A DARN GOOD FRIEND AND SOMEONE WHO KNOWS ME FROM WHEN I WAS BLOGGING AT YAHOO!, HAHA. (*WINK WINK*)

AND UH.

NO I'M NOT TRYING TO HIDE. I JUST PREFER TO BLOG WITHOUT WORRYING ABOUT THE CONSEQUENCES OF PEOPLE QUESTIONING ME ABOUT THIS AND THAT.

Not that there're that many visitors here anyway, haha.

I love this blog. :)

Bye, memories.

I'm Freaking Out.

2009-05-01T00:13:00.002+08:00

It will be alright eventually, huh?

:O

Oh my.

Horrid feeling, go away.

It should be alright...

:/

Yes, it's stupid PW again. Sigh. I don't like how I'm stuck doing something I'm not sure I ought to be doing.

Gahhhhh!

PI is done I think... I think.

This is my 99th blog entry on this site.

What can I say?

The 100th will be the last?

Heehee.

Caffeine.

2009-04-29T19:57:00.001+08:00

ARGH.

MORE NESCAFE PLEASE.

COFFEE, TEA, OR BUBBLE TEA?

I love the kopi-peng across the road.
$1 for lots of comfort. Mmmmm.

:)

Too much work lah.

Labour Day. Yay.

Wow. Okay. Hi.

2009-04-27T17:51:00.003+08:00

Hey there, tootsie the stalker.

:/

I've absolutely no idea who you are now that you say you're not on my Facebook. Stupidly, I thought of mad possibilities like uh, you're my lame brother or an enemy from long long long time ago.

Ahhh.

~~It'll be interesting to know you so feel free to add me on MSN.~~ :D

In some sense, I'm not pissed. More worried, perhaps? The worst thing I imagined was my whole group of female classmates shunning me simply because of what you said. So yes, this explains how I've been reacting.

Haha.

Okay, that's all I can think of at the moment.

DO YOUR HOMEWORK YOU STUPID LEAF. ARGH!

Hey.

2009-04-27T17:12:00.002+08:00

I don't know if I've been too harsh on this issue.

Couldn't help but wonder if you're clarifying things or just making sweeping statements.

I hereby apologise for any offensive remarks.

Somehow I've a weird feeling you're... Not as distant as I thought.

Don't know.

Hmmmmms.

Something's wrong with me.

Tsk tsk.

THANKS PUDDING FOR THE WOOHOO-IT'S-SO-LONG LETTER! :D
We shall exchange again this week - hope it's not disrupting your tuition.

Oh.

2009-04-26T12:36:00.008+08:00

You know what?

QKD767@##$8769SKS;LMG946DSGN44241^&LAj0-187623&%$@!45676!

Makes sense, no?

I miss 2 years ago,
when I had 2 groups of friends - MOSSP and the6ofus,
in a very boring girls' school.

Doing what we please.

Ooolala.

I just realised I haven't returned Esther the VCD set she lent me five years ago.
Sorry, girl, haha. We haven't met for that long, wow.

Will a new blog give me the freedom to write what I want?

I think so.

It shall be public but private in the sense that I shan't publicise it.

Anyone whom I consider a friend may PM me when I'm done with it.

What crap.

To you:

I disagree with most of what you said.

Your last comment stated, "What's up with your facebook status saying who the hell tagged here. You mean I don't have a right to?"

Then you mean I don't have a right to type the Facebook status?
I can say anything I want, like WHO THE HELL JUST CALLED ME ON MY PHONE. It doesn't mean that no one has the right to call me on my phone, right?

(Are you from AWARE?)

If you think you want me to be comfortable, those questions could have been asked in a private manner. I've lots to say about this issue, honestly, which can't be typed here, not because I'm trying to hide anything you think I'm hiding, but because people like you think you can describe me better based on a few paragraphs of words I type.

Don't you think you've been judgemental?

What do you mean by it's so obvious? Then aren't you judging me by the way I behave? (My behaviour can be exaggerated, I know.)

If you caught me committing a crime or something, sure, I'll admit my fault.

I just find you extremely odd for labelling people like this.

Thanks for helping me think a lot about my daily actions and whether I can be too extreme at times.

What did I do on Wednesday though? No-eye deer.

Hocc. I really admire how you handled things now. :)

And don't you implicate any of the people I hang out with.

:)

2009-04-25T17:28:00.003+08:00

Thanks Mel!

Thanks Jasmine!

Thanks Alyssa!

THANKS PUDDING!

:D

MSN conversations last night made me alright.

Why should I bother hmmm?

It's cool that you think you know me so darn well and that I'm what you see. :D
Blind bat. I'm sure you're not a friend. :D
And it's fun to insult you because happily, I've removed my tagboard. :D
And if you make it obvious who you are on Facebook, that's even better because I must have accidentally added you. :D
Who cares you. :D

Being childish, but oh well.

It's Saturday and I was supposed to do all my homejoy. Unsurprisingly, PW is done but not the rest.

I miss you Fish!

The More I Think About It.

2009-04-24T22:26:00.004+08:00

There's one word to describe you...

Judgemental.

:D

Yeah, I really think so.

And at the same time, thinking yourself correct and the rest of the world wrong.

:D

And so on and so forth.

I've never met someone like you, dude.

:D

Byebye.

Exactly. (Edited.)

2009-04-24T19:56:00.009+08:00

You've done what most have.
Shot me down before I could finish what I say, and expect my corpse to listen to your commands.

Kinda like teachers - they expect you to have the same sentiments as them.

I've some sense of who you are, but nah, it wouldn't make a difference.

Well.

Well.

Well.

Oh, just talk to me straight. Why make it so hard?

Really wanna know what the hell is going on? Then just ask, I'll tell. You can't read the full story here, there, anywhere. You think you know me well, huh? Then I'm sure you can contact me via other means.

Email, SMS, MSN, whatever.

I'm hiding, you say?

You?

P.S. Wow, I'm having a deja vu feeling.

:(

2009-04-22T20:57:00.000+08:00

:'(

:''(

:'''(

:''''(

The tears make the faces long huh.

Wounds.

2009-04-19T16:00:00.000+08:00

Have you ever been touched so lightly it hurt?

Oh...

2009-04-18T00:09:00.003+08:00

Just a moment.

Do you believe in one love?

The one and only you meet, fall in love with and disregard anyone else even if nothing is promised?

I keep hearing a phrase on the radio, saying that true love is falling in love with the same person over and over again. Sweet, but how true?

Hmmmm.

Actually, I used to think there is The One, just that we never know who that really is when we meet new people each time. That view has shifted though.

Hmm.

It Differs...

2009-04-17T23:51:00.005+08:00

I don't know how.

這次，我決定了。
就算入得多深，也不如年前那樣糊塗，最終傷了自己。

這次，有些不同。
萊斯仿佛理解了什麽。

這次，換了主角，
變。

Somehow life seems busier than it ought to be.

Ahhh.

Joey Yung tomorrow.

:D

Sick of always thinking too much, regretting what I choose not to do.

I like this photo. Strangely, it was snapped on my phone camera.

Inconvenient as it may be - lugging D around to get shots - it ought to be worth it. Alright then. Future outings, D will be seeing the sky more often.

:)

I wonder how.
I wonder why.

Mmmm.

2009-04-16T21:08:00.002+08:00

I really hope you'll get well soon.

Haiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.

Power!

:)

Cheer up, stay strong.

Mc.

2009-04-16T18:20:00.003+08:00

Heehee. :D

Oh, and the following paragraph is stopping me from signing up for the Taiwan study-cum-immersion programme...

All applicants would need to undergo a rigorous selection process, usually involving several rounds of interviews. These students must also be willing to spend time and effort in planning and coordinating activities related to the Exchange Programme.

Yeah, sure am a lazy ass.

Not Looking Forward...

2009-04-12T15:58:00.001+08:00

... To dinner tonight.

Ahhhhhh.

Well, Of Course.

2009-04-11T20:49:00.008+08:00

I hate it when you list my faults like you're the judge and I'm the criminal.

Those traits were inherited from you.

I hate it when the sheer truth I'm uttering seems vulgur to you.

You spit more shit than me.

Today was horrid.

Chicken-head bra.

The tears are fine, but why does mucus have to follow?

Yeah, yeah.

This incident proves too much for me to handle.

It'll take a while to forget.

Crapsss.

It's unbelievable how you guys, "my family", find it queer that I've stopped being talkative at home. It's strange how I can get along with friends I've known for months/years better than you people who have known me for life.

What can I say without being shut up?

P.S. I FEEL LIKE EATING PIZZA. I FEEL LIKE JOGGING. I FEEL LIKE EDITING PHOTOS. I FEEL LIKE MEETING JOEY YUNG THIS THURSDAY IF THERE ISN'T GOING TO BE TRIPLE ECONS.I FEEL LIKE ASKING ROSEMARY TO GET BACK TOGETHER.
I FELT LIKE HUGGING YOU - THOUGH WHO KNOWS HOW IT WOULD FEEL?

Oh, I should really start editing my photos, or crop them at least, huh.

Stalking.

2009-04-10T17:41:00.003+08:00

Woohoo.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha. I still find it hilarious.

leaf.ling
ANOTHER FACT ABOUT YOU.
YOU WERE LIBRARIAN.

xiaoxuan(:
huh???? when?

leaf.ling
..... lower sec.

xiaoxuan(:
er...
nope!
LOL!
yay!

leaf.ling
EHHHHHH.

xiaoxuan(:
you're wrong!
finally!

leaf.ling
CAN'T BE.
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

xiaoxuan(:
how can i be a librarian when i'm in the choir-.-

leaf.ling
or maybe just class librarian?

xiaoxuan(:
ooooooooooh....
i rmb now
omg!

leaf.ling
HAHAHAHA.
OMG.

xiaoxuan(:
yea i was the class library elf

leaf.ling
MY STALKING SKILL BETTER THAN UR MEMORY!

xiaoxuan(:
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
how did you find that out!

*grin*

Padma, you're next. :D

Mmmmm,

2009-04-09T21:36:00.001+08:00

I'm supposed to be doing this and that...

Uhhh.

Shall get a good sleep tonight.

Who You?

2009-04-05T20:47:00.004+08:00

A year has passed.

Remember Speech Day 2008?

You were standing on the aisle right next to me. All I could think about was the blisters on your feet.

Things have changed.

A year has passed.

Why does it always have to be the same way?

Ill-fated.

Fate.

I'm linking every single event to fate - why I'm in TJ, how I managed to get the TJC Acad, who's in my PW group (it isn't bad I guess) and all the holes I've gotten into.

I'll treat it that Fate will be cool to me in these holes.

Making no sense here.

Oh, a prepaid $30 Borders card. Should I get a lovely Literature book, some crappy novels or splurge on a photography guidebook?

Hmmmmm.

This photo was meant to have only sexy Rachel in it but sexier Jesslyn took the stage.

HAHA MY HAIR LOOKS NEARLY AS BROWN AS YOURS IN HERE, JESS. :D

And the low-quality photo my phone took of Lovely Lemon, who placed the ribbon torn from my envelope on her hair. Hmmm.

:)

Another week ahead.

And you.

Flashed.

2009-04-04T18:14:00.003+08:00

I didn't flash at anyone.

This old guy on a bicycle did, at Lemon and me today.
The funny thing was we didn't even notice it until he rode into a distance behind us.

Loser!

Anyway, going back to TKGS was awesome.

Meeting teachers like Mrs Chan, Mrs Loy and Mrs Liew was really heartening, especially when Liew hugged me, heeheehee. There were also others like Mdm Azizan, Ms Yeo (HAHA) and Mr Peh who were all really warm.

It just feels different - teachers versus tutors. For now, at least.

The new vice-principal found it strange that I wore black Converse with my very formal blazer... Hmmmm. I prefer her now. :)

Today's MOSSP outing felt different. Really liked the cosy feeling of the bubble-tea shop even though it looks different and how we talked about other stuffs other than anime. *cough* It's always good to have a mix of various topics to chat about.

Another outing in June yeah. :)

I miss you, Wifey. :(

Anticipation.

2009-04-03T22:53:00.008+08:00

My favourite song has the cutest (Cantonese) lyrics.

Anyway.

PHOTOS OF PADMAXIAOXUANSHIRLIN'S BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION.

I think they were taken quite badly so please forgive my poor photography skills.

AND SORRY EARL FOR KICKING YOU BUT YOU SPOILT THE NICEST PHOTO I WAS TAKING OF PADMA AND XIAO XUAN.

Hee. :)

Look! It's Odie.

*kicks him off edge*

The half-kilo chocolate fudge cake the class managed to finish - obviously.

They blew the candles out even before I'd whipped D out from my bag.

Shir Lin... Act surprised lah! :D

(HAHAHA. XX with CC!)

The particular photo spoilt by Mr Earl.

My dearest XX who has lost her sanity!

Hot people who look cool. :)

Lao Niang Jasmine slicing the cake while Bullcrap Bee Cheng (kidding lah, angel) admires me from afar.

Yan looks toot.

XX looks googoo.

Three girls gazing at me lying on the table.

Yeah right.

Not a nice photo. :(

FAIL.

Earl. You look good in here. Really.

Rejoice! Bullcrap.

Kidding lah, angel. *wink*

Guess who?

Your mother lah!

"Eh, don't take!"

"Heehee. Can I lick this?"

Tempting Mr Benedict to lick the chocolate off. Come on.

My daughter found D so amusing from the other side of the canteen, she came over to get her photo taken.

Woo!

Your mother and her wife.

"Huh?"

Sorry, ladies.

And finally, we have...

Xiao Xuan! <3

Padma! <3

With a very evil HY who probably poisoned the drumstick.

Okay, done. :)

Heehee.

2009-04-03T20:44:00.001+08:00

I really like you.

:D

I don't know in what way.

:D

Yay.

Ming.

2009-04-02T19:47:00.004+08:00

min⋅gle
/ˈmɪŋgəl/ [ming-guhl] -gled, -gling
–verb (used without object)
1. to become mixed, blended, or united.
2. to associate or mix in company: She refuses to mingle with bigots.
3. to associate or take part with others; participate.

I was told to be involved in some mingling yesterday.

It was a tea party at 7am. Peers, all in the same mouldy green uniform, surrounded me in the corridor. I held my cup of caffeine, trying to keep awake and not fiddle with my mobile phone.

Both of us made small talk with the two ladies. They were kind, motherly but I doubt they still remember my name. We moved on and had a solemn conversation with this gentleman, who made me realise how inferior I truly am.

Throughout the event, I felt no motivation to speak a single word. Perhaps, I whispered to the girl beside me about how awkward it all felt, but no, I would never begin breaking the ice with those strangers.

When we left the place and I saw this whole bunch of people I call friends, my behaviour changed, obviously. Jokes aplenty, or a comfortable silence when required. The atmosphere was hardly anywhere near to what it was at the "tea party".

From now on, maybe I'm required to change, be more outspoken, start speaking intelligently like a matured adult, but I just don't believe in some things.

My opinions are too extreme.

You can make me socialise with people, but you can't make me like it.

I will change this though, since I have to.

HAHAHA. IF ONLY ALL OF THE EMO WORDS ABOVE WAS AN APRIL'S FOOL JOKE.

I don't think I can ever be good at psychology.

First Cake.

2009-03-30T16:20:00.007+08:00

HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY PADMA PIE, XIAO XUAN OU AND SUPER SHIR LIN!
It was meant to be a cooler surprise than what we managed but well... Hope you girls liked it! :)

Shir Lin looked so much more confused than surprised, haha.

And yes, this time, I brought D to school, though the three birthday angels blew the candles out before I even whipped D out of my camera bag. Will upload the not-so-professional photos when I'm done with the pile of work on my desk.

Today's an eventful day after all, despite the fact that I didn't bring my Chinese textbook and lost the luggage tag which Shu Ying bought for my birthday... ARGHHHH! WHERE ARE YOU, MY DEAR TAG?

:(

Ah well.

PI... C'mon.

I'm glad I've met you, and become your friend. Every day, I'm learning something new. :D

I love Joey Yung's voice. Woooo! :)

One Two.

2009-03-27T19:01:00.003+08:00

I can be black.

I can even be white.

Grey? What's that?

Can't find the balance.

Slowly becoming comfortable around you. Losing the silence, awkwardness and invisible barrier. Closing the distance.

Yes, No.

Maybe, this time.

Thanks for making me smile unconditionally.

And you too.

Quotes.

2009-03-26T17:50:00.003+08:00

Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.

- Abraham Lincoln

Received a small square paper with this quote on it last year. Was not deeply affected by the meaning, but it pretty much makes sense.

I find that I prefer leaving comments on hocc's blog to writing here. I just lose every pixel of motivation to blog about something insightful whenever I stare at this page.

~~I CAN'T STAND GP. ARGHHHHH. WHY DO I SUCK SO MUCH AT IT?~~

I was praying nothing would appear suddenly out of nowhere.

Shan't say much today. Bio project.

D:

Regular.

2009-03-23T17:19:00.003+08:00

Days like today seem enjoyable.
If everyday were to be like this, life isn't that terrifying after all.

Lovely time crapping with Xiao Xuan, Alyssa, Jasmine and Juniper after school... You people surely don't want to know what our conversation was about.

Tutorials were alright too. I'm extremely thankful for being in this class.

~~How have you been, dear?~~

On a serious note, academic results for the past 2 class tests have been way below average. Or rather, I have yet to grasp the idea of writing a GP essay entirely based on the given format. The fact that Ms Sheryl did not condemn my narrative writing style was cool.

What Mathematics, Chemistry, Biology and Economics?

That's why I conclude school isn't an interesting subject to blog about, because my school life is pretty sad.

~~FAIL.~~

No idea why I always end up getting Reebok.

I love you, jogging shoes. May you make me run faster. :)

Joey Yung StarLight Live in Singapore 2009.

2009-03-22T12:09:00.004+08:00

Yay.

:D

Going to book my concert tickets later. Heaven knows why I'm always so late when it comes to this. All the better seats must have been snapped up.

But hey, it's Joey Yung, woohoo!

This time, I won't let my mum's presence affect my high emotions, heeheehee.

:D

$68 tickets. Cheap but oh well, heeheehee. (I'm paying for them again, damn.)

:D

P.S. Anyone bringing their camera? :O Though my 18 - 55mm won't capture much...

Woots.

2009-03-19T18:52:00.002+08:00

CG Picnic was alright after all, though less than half turned up and we mainly chatted while staring at the sea.

:D

Flag day was interesting and it really enabled me to see more of... Life, I guess. And people.

More on that another day.

Dinner is home (since my mum bought it from Siglap) and I shall be going.

1. Complete Maths today.
2. Work on Biology, Chemistry and Economics for the next 3 days.
3. Be prepared for Term 2...

Add oil, people, whoever you are. Stay happy. :)

Soon, Soon.

2009-03-17T15:13:00.002+08:00

In more than a week, I'll be going back... I think.

Will keep to my promise and bring the camera along to snap images of all that I still remember of that place. Without being caught by the security guards for sneaking around, that is.

...

Why am I not doing my work now?

Yak Yak.

2009-03-16T19:39:00.004+08:00

Chatting while being drenched in heavy rain droplets is an awesome way to bond.

Seriously.

厭倦了整日在猜測你腦袋裡到底在想什麽。

如前，我們不再認識對方。

Yes, oh my, blog is a sucky medium.

Does This Sound Harsh?

2009-03-15T21:25:00.003+08:00

I don't really miss TKGS and the people that much anymore.

It just feels that I've been struggling to hold on to the past and refusing the present.
Everyone else has changed and move on.

This is really how I feel.

P.S. Nice meeting up with MOSSP. :)

Supposed.

2009-03-14T13:55:00.002+08:00

To be researching on projects... Doing tutorial homework...

This, and that.

OKAY. I SHALL WATCH THE WHOLE DECAMERON DVD NOW.

Yes, I always forget what I say to do.

:(

And...

You're the special one, you know?

It's alright now, because I see you smile.

Decameron. (Updated)

2009-03-13T17:48:00.003+08:00

Gonna watch the entire video today. It's a must. :D

Then enjoy the western food meal Mum is buying for me now. :D

Anyway...

Career in business or psychology?

Hmmm.

Ah well.

I'm still upset over the damn interview yesterday. :/

@ 7:25 PM

I just read something somewhere, and I can't help but feel sad.

They were the cutest pair I knew around. I admired their courage and the simplicity of their feelings.

But somehow it's not how I imagined it out to be.

It has sort of ascertain my guess that maybe, just maybe, the most beautiful kind of love is forbidden.

......

Almost as if it made me realise I can't love anymore.

Splat.

2009-03-13T16:19:00.005+08:00

Three years ago, I had a quarrel with you.

(Remember the time we clashed over the matter, Wifey?)

I mentioned it again recently but you told me to stop. Somehow, talking about that disastrous misunderstanding brought up unhappy memories.

In the end, I'm not sure if that argument brought us closer than ever but it certainly did not destroy our friendship.

♥

I have never believed that having tiffs will ever improve a relationship.

Between a couple, sparks may allow better understanding, but in my opinion, none is better lest they create a flame. I just don't believe friction will smooth things out. More like wear them out.

But as much as I hate conflicts, I always seem to be a part of them because of my sucky personality.

Sucks, sucks, sucks.

♥

March hols?

What March hols?

Yes, I grouse a lot.

And I use heart symbols because the stars don't appear.

Actually.

2009-03-12T18:19:00.003+08:00

好想講某D野，但係唔識點講。
人與人關係，令到我覺得好鬼疲倦。

唉。

可能太過固執，因此認爲唔應該道歉。

Typing in Cantonese is not my forte indeed.

Anyway...

Why did he have to keep asking me about film-making when I'm beginning to have a strong passion for photography? Ohmygoshjustquitaskingmehorriblequestions.

I miss you so damn much, Mel. Will you sit on my right now?

Arghhhh. MOSSP outing in 3 days... And some wife can't make it. :(

Split.

2009-03-11T18:23:00.002+08:00

Converse for regular use, running shoes for PE days.

It's funny how people and things are constantly being divided.

Cool people in the popular clique, others in another group.

Pessimists squatting in a corner, optimists cheering in the open.

Left and right.

Right and wrong.

I ought to stop saying that life sucks - even though it does.

Hmmm.

There's no more PE for this week and it's going to be the March holidays very soon.

Econs test - come on man.

Age.

2009-03-09T12:10:00.004+08:00

Mum chided me yesterday for being too matured in my thinking.

"Think like a seventeen-year-old! Do like a seventeen-year-old!"

I was laughing.

Actually, I explained to her recently about how blogs and social-networking websites like Facebook work. At the same time, I also groused about how I seem to touch too much on emo issues while peers blog about their optimistic daily life.

Somehow, the conversation ended up with her calling me a grumpy old woman who thinks too much and too deep. Then she pushed the "blame" to herself (for being pessimistic herself), my religeous aunt (who taught me all about Buddhism and harsh facts of life) and the fact that I seem to mix around with people older than I am.

Well... Maybe I am an old person trapped in this body.

Not wise, but not "young and vibrant".

Hmmm.

School ended early today because of dear ol' "A" Level Results. Cooking instant noodles soon after printing out my depressing script for tomorrow's presentation.

Looking forward to next week.

Oh. And...

THANK YOU, PADMA AND XIAO XUAN (IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER). HAHA!
Love it and it to bits. And I know some birthdays are arriving soon. *cough* :D

Thanks for cheering me up, people.
You know who you are when I smile, even if it's on Facebook. :)

Okay.

2009-03-08T14:00:00.002+08:00

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

:D

The Decameron has been awesome - so far.
(Only because my DVD player has allowed only half of it to be played, hee.)

:D

:D

Wrong Words.

2009-03-08T12:48:00.009+08:00

You blog...

A private side of you which no one knows of. People make a fuss of it, enlarge it into something catastrophic and you realise you're in deep crap. You thought you had made it incomprehensible.

You blog...

About your true feelings, appearing emotional and gloomy. People think you're angry with the whole wide world so they shun and curse you from behind.

You blog...

The happy stuffs which happen in life - things that make you go "LOL", whether or not it is superficial. Deep down, you know that it is not what you want to type out, but you do that to please people.

I realise I blog not what people want to read. I've a mental image of everyone reading and going, "oh, so she's like this in reality!"

Does it matter?

Actually, no.

I don't wish to make this a private blog because it defeats the purpose of having one.

Things are getting queer, especially when I come online and only negative thoughts flood my mind.

Ah well.

Having a blog on Yahoo! (2 years ago) wasn't a bad idea because online friends who read what I wrote didn't bother to judge my personality. Instead, they left meaningful comments which made it all worthwhile.

...

Yeah, I agree with what you said, Inume. Reading people's blogs does make you feel like you're walking alone.

%&^*&$*#$%((&*(@!~@^&%^*^&*^#.

Happy entries will begin soon, or never.

Appreciation!

2009-03-06T17:03:00.014+08:00

Thank you so much for your reply.

:)

And sorry that it made you feel low.

:(

On a completely different note, I apologise to everyone I've literally shouted at over the past week. It's apparent that I've an awfully short temper and there are some things which annoy me excessively.

(words of anger deleted)

己所不慾，勿施于人。

Just don't do to others what you won't want upon yourself.

P.S. And that kinda means I hope you people will stop it.

Oh, And...

2009-03-05T19:06:00.003+08:00

This is my idol, people.

She's hocc.

Weeee.

Supposedly releasing a mandarin album this year, so Singaporeans will finally see more of her and stop asking me who she is.

(Good and bad actually. She can't sing Cantonese forever I guess...)

Look Ma! Just one hand!

Gutgut.

Gooloo.

I'm thinking of you now, Agnes-wifey. :D

Oh, it's been such a long time since I've gone nuts over hocc.

Will be ordering the HALL1C products very soon. Finally.

Before You Can Stop It...

2009-03-05T18:16:00.002+08:00

"You weenies," he said.

"You peenies," I retorted, before realising it sounded extremely wrong, even though the mental image I had was of the yellow fluid called urine, not something else.

Well.

Awfulness.

:)

These few weeks have been fine. It helps that the class has been harmonious even though as usual, it exists mostly in the form of cliques. I suppose there isn't an alternative to this since it's impossible for 25 people to truly stick together.

So, yeah.

Being in the company of Xiao Xuan, Hilton, Hui Yi, Janice, My Three Angels and the others has been a consolation indeed, because TKGS pops up in my mind every day. Heart-to-heart conversations with Serene, Bhav and Shu Ying comfort me a lot too.

Thanks, people. :D

Just read a friend's blog (CaoCao) and clicked a link to her friend's blog. Hahaha... On a more serious note, the entry on the latter was similar to what I had intended to blog about today.

Should I dwell on this matter? Nope.

I've learnt my lesson. Blogging about personal matters which you haven't sort out in your mind yet can be pretty dangerous, especially when the other party happens to read your blog and receive the largest shock of his/her life.

Sucked when it affected the friendship.

Since it hasn't evolved into anything and I will not allow it to be, I shall keep it inside then.

Rest for awhile, heart.

I.

2009-03-01T23:00:00.003+08:00

Miss.

You.

All.

So.

Much.

Now... And as always.

In much need of confidantes. Meeting up soon, thankfully?

Love, MOSSPian.

If Only.

2009-02-28T16:35:00.001+08:00

We can all remain the same...

Mmm.

2009-02-27T16:59:00.002+08:00

Fluctuating temperature...

Sudden warmth, instant coldness.

I guess I'm alright with this awkwardness, especially since it's obvious nothing has and ever will come out of us.

Yes, kill me for bringing this matter up again.

Photos I've shot with D haven't been exceptionally nice. East Coast Park may be a rather scenic area to some, but not to me as of yet. I'll catch the sunrise someday.

And of course, learn more about aperture, shutter speed and ISO while portraying the subject in an interesting way.

:)

Let's Make This Clear.

2009-02-26T18:20:00.004+08:00

The record shows that I was absent on 24th February!

Arghhh!

Why why, tell me why... Shall inform Ms Liew tomorrow then. :/

Anyway, Infocomm Club has been pretty interesting. Or at least, the photography aspect is something new and enriching, especially since I will finally have the opportunity to hone any skill that I possess in the first place.

Would you describe me as selfish if I refuse to let you handle my belonging?

Basically, I'm alright loaning items like scissors, books and notes.

However, I've been slowly constructing a mental barrier around me because stuffs like these are being returned in terrible conditions, like a scissors probably dipped in glue and a brand-new Harry Potter novel all yellow and worn.

It then started to dawn on me that lending people an item was alright. What frustrates me most is knowing that they can easily afford to use their own but choose to borrow mine because they know that there'll be some harm to it.

Taking without permission... I shan't dwell on that now.

Well. The issue today is my DSLR, nicknamed D, which I'll be bringing about pretty often from now on.

I did not buy it with my own savings - that is the truth. It was a gift from a lovely cousin, and I bet she felt a little apprehensive withdrawing more than a thousand dollars just to get me a camera. I share the same feeling.

Honestly, if something major happens to D, the cost of repair will be a few hundred bucks. It'll be awkward asking for compensation because after all, the borrower is most likely a close friend.

And then again, if it's something minor like a tiny scratch on the body, I don't even know how to make a fuss out of it even though my heart would have broken into a dozen pieces.

Yes, I'm paranoid.

Abigail probably understands. :)
Ting Ke! This entry is not targeted at you by the way...

So yes, do pardon me the next time I wave my "Hands Off" keychain in your face when you eye my D or I cough hesitantly when you finger it for too long.

If you ever wish to borrow D, too bad, but you will have me tagging along as well with my eyes piercing through your soul.

Such a bitch of me, eh?

Allow Silence, Please.

2009-02-23T20:08:00.003+08:00

A tad too emotional today.

Sorry, sorry and sorry.

Auto tears. Auto stoning.

Perhaps people are too used to the loud and enthusiastic me. As soon as I decide to lose my voice, the atmosphere changes.

Thank you for the smile in the morning. It made the day better than worse.

:)

C.

2009-02-22T16:18:00.004+08:00

As usual, you complete the day.

:)

You're worth every iota of love and respect I've had for you all this while, and not only because of what you've done for me in return. No doubt, I'll keep writing to you.

Hope all will be great next month. :)

If only I can pay you a visit.

Tautological.

2009-02-21T21:32:00.005+08:00

tautological \taw-TOL-uh-guh-kuhl\, adjective:
unnecessarily or uselessly repetitive

It is tautological to mark attendance for the class every morning since students adhere to the EZ-link card-tapping system as well.

Wahaha!

Hmmm. Let me form a habit of structuring a sentence with a new word every time I blog! :D

Subscribing to Dictionary.com may indeed improve your vocabulary, GP students.

Change of subject...

Is bitching a characteristic found in every single person?

I feel that it is. And as much as I'm not saying it aloud, boy, YOU SUCK.

HAHAHA.

Okay. Just venting.

Here's a meme after I've finished my Economics essay...

RULES:
1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Tag 15 friends.
(Agnes, Abigail, Ai Ying, CaoGu, Cheng Mun, Janice, Jesslyn, Joyce, Lemon, Mel, Padma, Ting Ke, Tricia, Tzu Hsiang and who-knows-who.)
5. Everyone tagged has to do the same thing.
6. Have Fun!

1, IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY', YOU SAY?
另一張臉 - 孙燕姿

2, HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
喜歡戀愛 - 盧巧音

3, WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Downtown - Gareth Gates

4, HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Rolling Star - Yui

5, WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
小孩不懂怕 - 陳奕迅

6, WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
如果你愛我 - 蔡健雅

7, WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
始終一天 - at17

8, WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
願我可以學會放低你 - 何韻詩

9, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
愛的教育 - 何韻詩

10, WHAT IS 2 + 2?
On My Way - Phil Collins

11, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
然後怎樣 - 陳奕迅

12, WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
The Last Goodbye - Atomic Kitten

13, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
與別不同 - 何韻詩

14, WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
艷光四射（美艷到不行） - 何韻詩

15, WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
才女 - at17

16, WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL？
貓歌 II - 明明

17, WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
光明會 DAFREAK MIX - 何韻詩

18, WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR??
安靜 - 何韻詩

19, WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
神經痛 - 何韻詩

20, WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
女書 - 盧巧音

21, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
大傻 - 楊千嬅

22, WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
No One Loves You (Like I Love You) - Atomic Kitten

Alright. I'm certain yours will be far more interesting and less emo than mine. :)

Yeeha.

2009-02-20T18:57:00.004+08:00

Friendship is pretty amazing.

Meeting up with the6ofus tomorrow.

Waiting to meet up with MOSSP soon - I need your presence.

Trying to be closer to those in my CG now.

:)

Pai Ling.

2009-02-18T17:07:00.003+08:00

It's an awful name, isn't it?

(Sorry to any of you who happens to have it.)

Anyway, it appeared on a name list because apparently, my "D" looks like a "P", like how my "r" seems to be a "v" and the "n" twists to become a "u".

Haha. Mrs Tan's handwriting is the best... :)

Infocomm club meets up fortnightly. What a PDP to be in!

I seem to be too free. Not doing my tutorial work because JC life has been relatively stress-free... Slack. Slack. Slack... For this week at least.

Soon, soon, I'll allow it to be thunderous.

Yes, I'm being random.

Today, it felt awkward when I realised that a huge group of peers will be learning photography with me, holding a better DSLR in their hands and aiming at the same subject as I am.

Nearly like when I found hocc and suddenly learnt that she was very loved by many others too.

I guess I like being unusual and the odd one out when it comes to liking someone/something.

Yet, naturally, people will love what you love.

Sucks.

Why do you look so unhappy? :(

Timetable.

2009-02-16T16:57:00.001+08:00

Less time to stalk old friends in other CGs.
More opportunities to hang out with new ones in CG 17/09.

Well.

School starts before eight and ends around three every day. It's peculiar how routine seems to slow us down yet allow us to be more efficient.

Well well.

I kinda like my class, I guess. Yet, it lacks a certain touch to it once found in 3E3/4E3. Ought to stop comparing right?

Well well well.

At Seventeen.

2009-02-16T16:55:00.001+08:00

I guess I'm still a tad too young to relate to this song. It's beautiful though, and what would at17 be called without it?

Janis Ian.

I learned the truth at seventeen
That love was meant for beauty queens
And high school girls with clear skinned smiles
Who married young and then retired
The Valentines I never knew
The Friday night charades of youth
Were spent on one more beautiful
At seventeen I learned the truth
And those of us with ravaged faces
Lacking in the social graces
Desperately remained at home
Inventing lovers on the phone
Who called to say come dance with me
And murmured vague obscenities
It isn't all it seems
At seventeen
A brown eyed girl in hand me downs
Whose name I never could pronounce
Said, "Pity please the ones who serve
They only get what they deserve"
The rich relation/ed hometown queen
Marries into what she needs
With a guarantee of company
And haven for the elderly
Remember those who win the game
They lose the love they sought to gain
debentures of quality
And dubious integrity
Their small town eyes will gaze at you
In dull surprise when payment due
Exceeds accounts received
At seventeen
To those of us who know the pain
Of Valentines that never came
And those whose names were never called
When choosing sides for basketball
It was long ago and far away
The world was younger than today
And dreams were all they gave for free
To ugly duckling girls like me
We all play the game and when we dare
To cheat ourselves at solitaire
Inventing lovers on the phone
Repenting other lives unknown
That call and say, come dance with me
And murmur vague obscenities
At ugly girls like me
At seventeen

Hall1C.

2009-02-15T13:54:00.004+08:00

I find myself strange in the sense that I hate most branded merchandise. Recently, while shopping for a backpack, I shunned any with a reputable name like Nike, Adidas, Converse and Deuter.

Even though I ended up with a Reebok (haha), the reason was because it was on 30% discount and had a relatively small and unnoticeable logo.

When it comes to dark chocolate, I enjoy Frey's, which makes people go, "Huh? Is there such a brand?"

In fact, I only have a soft spot for Converse Chuck Taylor All-Stars and several electronic gadgets, hehe...

And Hall1C.

The Decameron DVD Boxset!

HK$365/450... SG$90... *gulp*

Thelma Mobile Strap!

HK$110/140... SG$28... *sniff*

Ten Days Notebook! HK$120/150... SG$30...
HOCC Charity Fund Bag! HK$10/20... SG$4...
Live in Unity Cap with woven logo! HK$230/260... SG$52...

*scream*

Goomusic Cap!

HK$230/260... SG$52... Sweet.

Hall1C Badges.

HK$60/80... SG$16... *cheer*

Or this... Which is too expensive.

Hmmm. My savings... Doubt it can handle the stress of all the above.

I do?

2009-02-15T00:20:00.003+08:00

Walked along Bugis Street and I found myself wondering why I ended up in that particular area. Crowded, stuffy and extremely uncomfortable with couples all around, I have to say.

Valentine's Day. Doesn't quite matter to me though everyone seems to be making a humongous deal out of it. My bachelor neighbour (maybe straight after all) received a rose bouquet while my brother ordered tulips for his girlfriend.

Worst of all, he started questioning me about who I like at the moment... Haha.

Truly, this entire "love" thing on this day every year leaves me feeling puzzled.

Seventeen is an age whereby dating and not dating both seem perfectly okay.

Eh?

Ah well.

Photography! If it wasn't for the fact that I wish to know you better, I would never have chosen to be part of Infocomm ever again. First Aid Unit just seems so much more enriching.

Change.

2009-02-13T22:10:00.004+08:00

I just realised that I hardly know how to use Microsoft Excel. Four years of being in Infocomm Club and in fact, another two... Gosh, do I have to learn?

TJC has been fine. I have actually been a little hyper amongst several people I regard as friends and not just schoolmates. (Serene, Shu Ying, Bhavika, Gracie, Regina...) Yet, the atmosphere has shifted drastically from orientation "high" to lectures "low" so...

Back to the emotional phase! :(

No doubt, things differ from the past. Yet, do we change along with time?

I don't have the answer.

Whatever it is, some of us will naturally change, neither for the worse nor the better, while others remain in the same mould. Life is such.

Good friends may make an effort to keep in touch, but some will move on without looking back. What can we do? Basically nothing.

I lack the motivation to blog anything meaningful for the time being.

By the way, you cause my heart to flutter. This time, I just like liking you, and nothing more. A simple liking which has not caused the heart to falter and fail. And this time, I will take it easy...

I'm sure you all will faint if I'm not even referring to a human being. :D

Useless.

2009-02-12T18:10:00.003+08:00

That's how I feel.

:/

Anyway, lessons proper from next week onwards. Life seems tough already - I seriously have no idea what I've gotten myself into.

Deep crap?

Hate how everything is announced on the online school portal. Such a perfect excuse to waste time.

Go go go go go!

Reputation.

2009-02-11T17:48:00.007+08:00

Tarnished.

Not mine... Maybe ours.

I don't know.

Hope to be more proactive these 2 years.

Should be able to handle it. And who knows why classmates keep sabotaging me for roles which I feel others deserve more than I do? Thank goodness I'm not Treasurer for the third year or it would have been a straight no from me.

:(

Being responsible and punctual... Oh, taking attendance can't be that tough eh?

Oh boy. I remember Secondary One and Two. Taking attendance sucks eh, Agnes dear?

:(

Just one year, I suppose.

Back and Forth.

2009-02-10T22:41:00.002+08:00

It wasn't so weird after all.

Visited TKGS with Serene after school today. It was certainly random and by the time we reached, it was way after 4pm and most of the teachers had left.

Sorry to the rest of MOSSP for not giving prior notice. We wanted to see you all so badly but it was too late.

The usual bus journey brought us to the main gate. Walking in and having the security guard request for our EZ-link cards was frustrating - just a few months back, we could simply skip through.

Miss Yeo drove past us, but before that, we saw her clearly through the glass window. Somehow, her appearance has changed. Almost as if she received a makeover of some sort... But the smile remains the same, and we couldn't help but laugh.

Knocking on the Staff Room's window, we found a serious Mrs Loy. But when giggly Mrs Liew joined in for the chat, it got a little casual and the kueh bangkit she served us was melt-in-the-mouth awesome.

Sadly, Mrs Chan had left for home and Mr Peh was too busy to lecture us for long.

Then, we left.

In some sense, several aspects of TKGS stir up sad feelings in me, though not necessarily in a negative way.

Reminiscence is a beautiful thing, isn't it?

Fine Now.

2009-02-09T15:00:00.004+08:00

This week is only going to improve, since the worst must have been over.

Lectures feel so alien by the way. Shall be more independent in future.

Anyway... Thanks, friends. :D

And I swear to use my baby (DSLR) more - it's rotting in the dry cabinet.

Second Person.

2009-02-08T11:09:00.005+08:00

You receive a ticket to the most talked-about concert of the year. However, you've never admitted to liking the genre of the band's music and hardly know them at all.

Entering the auditorium, you are blown away by the massive crowd and rising atmosphere. Several familiar faces look at you amidst all the strangers, but before you know it, the concert has begun and they turn away.

The music starts playing - guitar, bass, keyboard, drums and every basic instrument you can name. Yet none of them strikes you. You are not entertained, never amused.

Trying to coordinate with the rest of the audience, you dance and cheer along whenever you can. Strangely though, there is no chemistry with anyone around you. When you happen to wave to the left, their hands automatically reach for the right. Whichever way you go, they choose to contrast.

Struggling to keep up, you give your most, but it is not enough. The past few months have stripped you of any energy you ever possessed. Weakness is all you can feel.

But you try.

And try.

Suddenly, it ends. You're left walking down a similar route for another week. Alone.

There's some famous quote akin to this: You're lonely when you're alone, but the worst feeling is when you are surrounded by people but still feel the same.

This is how it has been for the past week.

Heaven knows why I've become some a pessimistic introvert.

When I reached and saw Agnes and Tricia at the skating rink yesterday, I almost cried out in relief. Maybe because they still look the same.

For the whole of yesterday, tears threatened to flow, and they did. I don't know why, but it feels like this is a gorge I have to face and overcome.

Somehow, I had a feeling it was to be 17.

Not 16 like Bhavika and Serene. Not 18 like some others.

CG 17/09.

I'm happy now, because hocc has a EOS 450D too. Haha.

Whatever right?

Come on, self. You can survive.

No.

2009-02-06T23:54:00.003+08:00

I can't... Can't, can't, can't.

There's no way four days can be as stable as four years. There's no way I'm going to go through that silly phase again for two whole years.

No way.

I regret what I said - that I'll find someone else to forget about you.

Orientation is over. The next week... I will have to learn.

Come on... Open and close!

Sputnik Sweatheart.

2009-02-04T18:43:00.003+08:00

I assume this book cover isn't controversial since I borrowed the same version from the library.

This should be my favourite Murakami novel as of now. It brings you from high to low and leaves your heart feeling heavy even though it's a relatively light book.

A story which I finally understand (Murakami can be incomprehensible at times) and am touched by.

Miu.

I wonder why I'm so easily attracted.

Old.

2009-02-03T20:25:00.002+08:00

I've been stoning too much.

Staring at the ground when walking, hardly lifting a limb during mass dance or observing this particular person I barely know to prevent myself from being distracted by someone else...

I guess she's rather interesting. Special in a unique way. Whether it's her name, physical appearance or the way she laughs, she reminds me of so many other people close to me.

No, I'm not a perverted stalker. :D

Perspired so much today.

Fluid, fluid.

Strangely, I've been much of an introvert. At times like these, I really wonder how I got to meet friends like MOSSP and be able to interact with them in such a sociable and silly manner. Perhaps these people in my orientation group and I lack common interest, but it's not like I need a fellow Cantopop fan to communicate.

I shall open up and practise the why-so-difficult dance steps.

Damn, I miss you and you deserve so much more than I do, really.
I don't know what to say. :(

And you... Just when things between us improved and I managed to hide you from my mind, Fate has decided to test me further. I'm sorry. Give me time - maybe 2 years... Like previously.

Argh.

2009-02-02T19:21:00.002+08:00

Leave me alone.

You're feeling frustrated, I'm feeling bothered.

Let's not take it out on each other.

Today is an emo day. Orientation did not get off to a good start.

I miss you all already.

MylarOne Bijou.

2009-02-01T16:46:00.002+08:00

Gunmetal.

3.

Bought and burned in months ago.

Shall get replacement tips soon. Any brand recommendation?

Before It Begins.

2009-01-31T21:07:00.008+08:00

I hate orientation.

I hate adaptation.

I hate putting on a facade.

I hate knowing that dozens of TKGians are going to be in the same school but strangely... Many of my friends are in the same orientation group and I'm not.

I hate my orientation group.

I hate the orientation programme.

I hate being in the same school as you (not you, sorry).

I took 6 years to appreciate Tao Nan and 3 years to love Tanjong Katong Girls'.

This time?

實現了。

你會在我面前，遇上某某。
而我，也只好送上祝福，寧願變成一顆沙。

我已經預知了。

眼淚……我忍。
兩年。不許如以前那麽容易受傷，不許如以前那麽心痛。

:(

繼續期待，我只要繼續期待，我喜愛繼續期待，我不要得到你……

別馬上揭開，沒有懸疑性怎麼會可愛？

Days When I Wish...

2009-01-30T16:41:00.002+08:00

Results Day and Posting Day are similar.

Shan't elaborate further.

Hope your appeals get through, friends.

Food Play.

2009-01-29T19:41:00.004+08:00

After that particular meal, Auntie Grace always made me finish her coleslaw.

Haha.

...

I ought to stop blogging about you.

Bizarre.

2009-01-28T20:56:00.003+08:00

We were crowding around the corridor outside a classroom.

Mrs Loy walked out, joining Tricia and me. Things became a blur for seconds before Miss Yeo appeared. In a teasing tone quite unlike her, she says she has something for me.

Tricia and I exchanged glances. We voiced in unison, "Michael Phelps poster?"

Miss Yeo didn't catch what we dared to say. Instead, she drew out an exquisitely-wrapped box. In it, lay a black fountain pen.

She handed it to me and suddenly, all was darkness.

I woke up, heard the fan blades spinning and tossed the blanket aside.

Laughed.

I miss Miss Yeo quite a lot. *cough*

Please...

2009-01-28T00:02:00.001+08:00

For a second or two, you brought me closer again.

Don't...

37.8°C.

2009-01-27T20:39:00.004+08:00

Perfect timing.

Hmmm.

Certainly, I'm being sarcastic. The almond/cashew/coconut cookies would have been polished off by the time I recover fully, damn it!

Ah well.

Haven't had much time to play with the controls or bring it out for visiting.

Too worried for its safety. :P

Remarks.

2009-01-25T23:51:00.007+08:00

More than six years ago, I wrote in my journal how I had gotten a new pair of spectacles and was feeling apprehensive about being the receiving end of all sorts of comments from relatives during Chinese New Year. Mrs Tan wrote a positive reply, stating how it may not necessarily be a thing to feel bad about.

Yet, until now, I still have the same sentiment.

I may not have arrived at a certain age when aunties question, "Eh, where's your boyfriend?" or the stage whereby having children is the most discussed topic. But somehow, I already feel the heat.

It's ridiculous how relatives I meet a few times a year have so much to say. Perhaps I've never been receptive to advice and criticism. Each time a certain uncle states something about me which I've never admitted to (like being a 24/7 nerd, haha), I don't see the need to put on a facade and give a polite smile.

Oh well. If only I brought a novel along today.

Reunion dinner was fine. I always feel exceptionally grateful to my brother because he would reach for the ngoh hiang pieces and mushrooms for me, hehe.

Does it feel like Chinese New Year?

Hmmm.

Happy to you.

What a Change.

2009-01-24T15:58:00.002+08:00

Goodbye, Kodak EasyShare LS420.

Hello, Canon EOS 450D.

Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

With an awesome (and expensive) reward comes great responsibilty... I will work hard for the next 2 years.

Photography.

Come on, baby.

Moments.

2009-01-23T23:41:00.006+08:00

The sky darkens.

I leave the party early as always with several close friends. We chat and enjoy one another's presence but shortly after, we drop off at different stops and wave temporary goodbyes.

Alone, we embark on our way home.

The bus jerks. The aisle, long and narrow, leads me to the empty seats at the back where other loners accompany me.

I stare out of the smudged window intently. Nothing much, just the usual scenery. Through a pair of in-ear headphones, a song plays. The lyrics stirs up memories of the past and images of you begin to flicker randomly.

I am brought back to the classroom environment, peeping through the back door at the staircase opposite the building.

In the canteen, you sit on the other benches, choosing not to look up.

I am standing near the back door once more, and you see me looking at you while I put on my pinafore awkwardly.

Holding a revision book, you walk past me, without noticing my existence.

Your laughter echoes down the corridor, at somebody else's joke.

Almost involuntary, my mind casts aside joyful days we have shared together in these years. All that float past me are of sorrow and remorse...

Time fades memories, yet when will it erase those I still possess?

The Sorrows of Young Werther.

2009-01-22T20:30:00.005+08:00

By Johann Wolfgang von Goethe.

So far, so great.

Once more, forbidden love... I seem to love every story with this theme.

Well well.

少年維特
作曲：陳奐仁for The Invisible Men / 何秉舜@goomusic
填詞：黃偉文
編曲：陳奐仁 for The Invisible Men / 何秉舜@goomusic
監製：陳奐仁 for The Invisible Men / 何秉舜@goomusic / hocc@goomusic

怎麼得我一個煩惱　命運像殘酷旅途
在校內交不到朋友　在網上嬴不到武士袍
怎麼給我這對父母　鬧鬧鬧還話我嘈
別人十三初試甜吻　但現在連初戀也並無
只能　自卑兼憤怒

恨我不能擁有個地牢　誰也不必理會最好
你為何話我　常在鏡前投訴
溫室裡長高　從來無能力　殺出新血路
難題是我所製造

你為何話這　純屬少年煩惱
不知我已經　絕望得比你早

波打輸了　考試來了　又用盡零用錢了
瘡瘡多了　家要回了　外貌又無波比那樣潮
珍藏　漫畫遭棄掉
沒有一人相信我寂寥　誰也冤枉我在撒嬌

你為何話我　常在鏡前投訴
溫室裡長高　從來無能力　殺出新血路
難題是我所製造
你為何話這　純屬少年煩惱
不知我已經　絕望得比你早

你為何話我　常在鏡前投訴
溫室裡長高　從來無能力　殺出新血路
難題是我所製造
你為何話這　純屬少年煩惱
即使你早知　人明天非更好

Canon EOS 1000D Rebel XS for a DSLR, because like what everyone says... Go for the DSLR lah! :D

Panasonic LMC-FZ28 for a bridge camera, because I simply want to bring it along wherever I go without lugging around a bag of lenses. Besides, I severely lack a point-and-shoot camera and photography is just a part-time hobby. :(

I ponder over the silliest matters huh!

Snap.

2009-01-21T10:47:00.003+08:00

This week, I shall decide (and get it on Saturday morning).

:D

The contenders are...

(a) Canon PowerShot SX10 IS.

(b) Panasonic Lumix DMC-FZ28.

I didn't dare to ask for a DSLR but Monica actually asked me to consider one. Wow.

Doubt I need one though...

Yeah, I'm weird.

Gosh.

2009-01-20T21:47:00.003+08:00

Can't quite believe that you did what you did.

I'm really aghast at your rashness... You never think of consequences, do you?

And of course, I can't say this to your face just because you are older. I don't have the audacity to go against your words or actions because when you shout back, it spoils the mood in the house for days.

Wahhhhh.

Happiness.

2009-01-19T11:13:00.005+08:00

Joyce! You have to watch this. :)

From Eman's blog.

If I do have a son/daughter, may he/she be like the above. :D

I should be very contented with life now, right? It seems that most of my previous entries consist of grouses even though these few days have been alright.

Well well.

Feel bad about questioning this event on hocc's facebook, hehe. Now, some overseas fans are asking, "What about us?!"

Question Marks.

2009-01-18T14:38:00.003+08:00

Creative Writing and Journalism Club.

Guitar Club.

IT Club.

Photography Club.

LEO Club.

Badminton.

Bowling.

Floorball.

Gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Having a drastic mood swing at this moment.

*swing swing*

Should I get braces?

I agree with what Mel said, that it is a cosmetic treatment more than anything. However, if I do go for it, it will be 50% cosmetic reason and 50% clinical treatment. That damn molar on the left side of my cheek is indeed biting into my gum. Besides, Dr Lam is charging me $3000, which isn't that expensive. I don't wish to regret in future and put on braces only when I'm twenty over years old.

Hai.

Should I buy a camera?

Should I this, or that?

Damn decisions.

sy.]] . says:
you weird leh now then you realise

Have I just made an incorrect one?

Dehydration.

2009-01-17T11:46:00.002+08:00

The water pipes at my block have just been replaced.

:(

Right now, every millilitre of water dripping from each tap in the house reeks of metal and even tastes metallic.

Urgh.

Grandma, I hope the water at your place is drinkable.

Reminiscence.

2009-01-16T11:14:00.009+08:00

Truthfully, Secondary Four would have been meaningless and torturous without the people.

I feel particularly fortunate.

Whenever I reflect on 2008, I think I've been amongst the kindest friends.

Just mossp alone is enough to make me smile. Yesterday, I was wondering to myself which mosspian I'm closest to and I found it perplexing that I could not decide on one.

Mel is not just close - she's been right there physically! What about darling Agnes? She's always been the friend for the past 4 years. And Imesha. But I can chat with Tricia about everything. Perverted ones with Lemon as well. Kwang and Ting Ke are always around too, and I've grown closer to them in recent months. How can I forget Joyce, who listened to my story during those A Maths lessons? Or Anisha, haha! Rachel Tan and I had a crazy bond. Needless to say, Serene was a lovely companion through "O" Levels. Abigail is also the sweet one who can chat about Tao Nan with me.

It was then that I realised wow, this is the best clique anyone can be a part of.

*salute*

Secondary 4E3 (Year 2008) is also the best class I've ever been in. Even though I may not show my affection as much as the others or possess the strongest class spirit, I'm grateful that we've all survived through the year together.

Love you pepes.

At the same time, I have managed to maintain an attached friendship with the6ofus and other former classmates. I'm immensely thankful for you guys. Whether or not we end up in the same school (may you guys get into your first choice), since we have forged firm ties in the past four years, I'm certain that things will remain the same for the years to come.

Surely.

Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter... and Spring.

2009-01-15T22:02:00.001+08:00

Meaningful.

The animal cruelty towards the end of the film did make me cringe though.

Interesting Day.

2009-01-14T23:48:00.000+08:00

Enjoyable picnic with fantastic friends.

Aunt Grace and her lovely message.

Great man (mum's boss) and a $1000 cheque.

Hilarious SMS which got mum wondering whether dad was having an affair.

Hmmm.

I think my vocabulary is pathetic...

Ah, well.

Should I get myself a camera? :)

Perhaps not a DSLR, but one close to that.

Full body!

Or Panasonic, Sony, Nikon...

T.

2009-01-13T23:58:00.003+08:00

Current decision.

SC 2.3A.
Mathematics, Chemistry, Biology and Economics.

I refuse to accept the fact that I have given up so easily. To me, polytechnic is still the preferred route, but I do not dare to venture onto this unknown path.

Earlier on, I realised that my love for Literature has rekindled too... But Biology seems like a "safer" subject.

My determination sucks indeed.

To everyone still uncertain of the next step to take... I hope you love what you choose, or learn to do so. I will try.

Well.

All the best to all.

For friends who have chosen the polytechnic route, I support you. :)

Shall start tidying up the bits and pieces left in January.

P.S. Thank you for all the advice given. Much appreciation.

Um.

2009-01-13T00:20:00.000+08:00

At this moment, I have succumbed.

Be it peer pressure, expectations or the norm...

Whatever.

I hope all of you don't see me in a different light. If you have ever considered me a friend and not just a schoolmate, please don't connect my academic results to me.

I would rather...

But whatever I say, I'm certain a majority of you will definitely see me as conceited, proud, egoistic, smug, narcissistic or any other negative adjective when I attempt to console or encourage anyone.

I don't know why I'm explaining myself even.

Thank you, mossp. You girls understand me.

As for you...

When I lacked the courage to approach you today, it hurt.

願我可以絕到踢走你　但是我如何能拒絕張開的臂
自問我可以贏你但喜歡輸給你　猶像你親於我自己
我怎可以　一刀切下來　親手傷你......

You deserve the best...

The Morning.

2009-01-12T10:01:00.003+08:00

Jogged for a few minutes... Pathetic.

Mmmm.

Mmmm.

Somehow, this photo turned out better.

Mmmm...

Good luck gal! Call me when u get ur results. So excited for u!

Gah...

I shall switch off the phone soon, haha.

Q&A.

2009-01-11T15:01:00.004+08:00

After umpteen times of shaking and tossing, shaking and tossing...

Q: What will my next step lead me to?

A pine tree grows more beautiful as it ages. No natural element such as wind, rain, snow could harm it. Besides, its wood is excellent for beam construction. To receive this chiam is a good omen.
The coast is clear. Your deeds please people. Your efforts get good return.
Joy, peace and stability for the family.

It felt too general in nature so I tried another question.

Q: What will my life in JC (if I were to indeed choose this route) be like?

A gorge where even a good flyer (bird) would not fly into, unless it seeks to die. (!)
A martyr is indeed rare. One must first die before one can be called on. Be prepared for the impossible if you seek to undertake what you are hoping to do.
Worrying and thoughts tend to confuse. A tranquil mind will succeed. (Agree. :D)
Success, if achieved, will be great.

I found the above advice useful. Of course, I won't follow them blindly because I'm not quite as superstitious as you think, haha. It amused me that none of the sticks fell out initially though- it seemed so easy in those drama serials.

Ha...

Let's see the result.

Third Pair.

2009-01-10T18:15:00.004+08:00

Chuck Taylor Denim Ox.

108560.

Black/White.

UK Size 7.

Lovely pair. Checkered pattern. Slight defects on closer look (like every other bought item, haha).

Gosh... I need a camera.

Next Step.

2009-01-09T21:36:00.002+08:00

Attempted putting off the decision-making for awhile.

Then I started hearing shouts of "We're getting the results on Monday!", "See you on Monday!" and "Wa lao... I'm so freaking scared of Monday." It struck me that in less than 3 days' time, I will be holding on to that miserable result slip, still uncertain about my future.

Talk about Monday blues... :/

(a) Temasek Junior College
(b) Diploma in Human Resource Management with Psychology @ Singapore Polytechnic
(c) Diploma in Business Studies @ Ngee Ann Polytechnic
(d) Diploma in Business @ Temasek Polytechnic

Option (a) does differ rather much from the others, haha...

Well, at least I've focused on business for polytechnic diplomas, because the others like science (can't imagine working in this sector), engineering (lack physics) and design (lack support) have been struck out mentally.

(Bye bye to my dear Music & Audio Technology... Will choose you in my next life!)

Still lost though.

If dreams even mean anything, then the future seems rather glum for me. All I've been dreaming about are dying goldfish and lousy grades...

Of course, I would rather be disappointed over acdemic results than have the seven goldfish in my living room die. They are so cute.

Getting Over It.

2009-01-08T21:55:00.004+08:00

One year to like.
One year to love.
One year to learn.
One year to leave.

Four years... Now, you are a part of my past.

Instead of the usual "get over it", I have chosen to live with it. Things have turned out to be simpler than before.

Let yourself go with the disease, be with it, keep company with it - this is the way to be rid of it.

- Bruce Lee
(I didn't know he was often quoted for his wise words.)

Of course, you're not a disease...

You're... Haha... :)

All the best, dear.

In Between.

2009-01-07T11:37:00.005+08:00

When you are having trouble deciding between two things, stop using logic. If it were that simple to think it through, you would have already done it. Instead, pay attention to the single command your intuition is telling you to do. Your intuition will only ever tell you what to do, not why you should do it.

- Anthony Gunn

Certainly, it doesn't mean that I should make a decision based on intuition alone.

Right?

Well well.

I don't know what you want from me these days by giving me the cold shoulder. For the past few years, I've been living according to your expectations, but now, I have no idea how to do so while living my own life.

Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get.

- Dave Gardner

I really long for simplicity.

Look For a Star!

2009-01-06T12:19:00.004+08:00

Anticipating this movie, especially the original Cantonese version.

Naturally, the only actor I'm looking out for is hocc, and she seems to have a rather major role here, judging by this promotional video.

(Perhaps, she will arrive in Singapore for the movie premiere! Hopefully! :D)

Her scenes seem interesting enough... She appears to be in a drunken stupor most of the time, but still rather cool as always. Hehe.

Woah, the guy actor carried her! *cough curse cough*

Yet, wherever she goes, her voice (other than her smile) is what I pay closest attention to, so I will curse the dubbed version of this movie and buy the DVD, heh.

Gone As Ashes.

2009-01-05T15:05:00.006+08:00

Contrary to popular belief, the burning of incense paper for ancestors is a traditional Chinese custom and not a Buddhist practice.

I remember a friend of another religion once insisting to me that it is the latter. She kind of pissed me off with her stubbornness.

Then I remembered, "Ah... Be calm since I'm a monk."

Amithabha.

Personally, I don't quite support this doing mostly because it is environmentally-unfriendly. Besides, as much as I believe in nearly everything (even aliens), I doubt I will receive these burnt money/houses/cars if I'm in hell. Hello? We go hell to suffer, and I don't need or want money down there (except to bribe the hell guards to let me out).

P.S. The photo (a favourite of mine) was taken right outside my paternal grandmother's house. Dad was holding the basket of incense paper, mum was fanning the flame from a distance, and I was enjoying the warmth of the fire and cursing the ashes flying about...

Really?

2009-01-04T12:45:00.012+08:00

© 2003 Locust Enterprises

I've permitted myself several U-Turns in life. It took courage, which I clearly lack at this moment.

Walking against the current makes me fear the consequences of people saying "See! What did I advice you?" if I were to truly regret my decision in future.

Hai.

Bro: "Help me buy a can of Carlsberg."

Mum: "Huh?"

Bro: "Carlsberg."

Mum: "Cow's milk?"

Funniest thing I just heard.

Meme.

2009-01-03T23:55:00.000+08:00

Tagged but you can choose not to do it.
1. Agnes
2. Mel
3. Lemon
4. Tricia
5. Joyce
6. Ting Ke
7. Cheng Mun
8. Tzu Hsiang
9. Shu Ying

1. Pick a word that begins with the first letter of your name.
Damn.

2. Who are you missing right now?
Friends. Teachers. Veegay... Haha.

3. Your ex shows up randomly at your house. What do you say?
Who are you? What do you want?

4. How many bedrooms are in your house?
Two.

5. Is there a reason for your profile song?
None, so nope.

6. Do you hate the last girl you were talking to?
Is my mum considered a girl? Or else it'll be my brother's girlfriend... I quite like her now.

7. Who was your last text message from?
Bhavika. I lost her number in my old phone so not completely certain that it's her though, heh.

8. What time did you wake up this morning?
After 10am, which makes me feel guilty now because oversleeping is a complete waste of time.

9. If someone likes you right now, would you want him/her to tell you?
Yeah, sure. Release your horse here!

10. Did you mean it when you said "I love you" last?
I think I have been shouting "I love you, hocc!" around the house recently, so yes, definitely.

11. Is it okay if you kiss people when you're single?
Yeah. It will be weirder if I go around kissing people when I'm married... Poor spouse.

12. What is wrong with you now?
Wrong? Haha.

13. Do you think you'll be married in 10 years?
Frankly, better not. 27 years old is old but too young for marriage in my childlike opinion.

14. Would you kiss someone to make your ex bf/gf mad?
An ex refers to a person I love(d) who belongs to the past. I wouldn't do anything to spite him/her.

15. Do you believe exs can really ever be "just friends"?
I believe in most stuffs.

16.Do you use T9, word or abc?
T9 until it irks me when I'm typing quirky words.

17.Do you tell your mum everything?
Can't. She'll faint.

18. Who was the last person you cried in front of?
My mum. Actually, it was in front of the television set... Watching Miriam Yeung (and later Leo Koo) win the award was heartening.

19. Have you told anybody you loved them today?
No... I better start saying such things before I die.

20.Who can you trust?
Friends - MOSSP, the6ofus... I hope. Haha.

Quiz 2.

1. Besides your lips, where is your favourite spot to get kissed?
Toe.

2. How did you feel when you woke up this morning?
Startled because mum shouted for me to wake up.

3. Who was the last person you took a picture of?
My cousin and her relatives. I think my hands shook too much but she didn't say a thing.

4. Would you consider yourself to be spoiled?
Maybe. I've never thought of my lousy attitude that way.

5. Would you ever donate blood?
Phobia of blood and needles... How?!

6. Have you ever had a best friend who is of the opposite sex?
In primary school? I can't remember if he was considered so.

7. Do you want someone dead?
Not now. Niahaha.

8. What does your last text message say?
Hm. Directions to a venue.

9. What are you thinking right now?
Should I post this meme on my blog?

10. Do you wish someone is with you right now?
Not really, although it will be interesting if hocc/veegay were to appear.

11. What time did you go to sleep last night?
11.30pm? Earlier than usual.

12. Where did you buy the shirt you're wearing now?
My brother's. Ask him.

13. Is someone on your mind right now?
No. I can't multi-task that well.

14. Who was the last person to text you?
Uhhh.

The 9 people you just tagged:

15.Who is Number 2 having a relationship with?
Mel? Gackt!

16. Is 3 a male or a female?
A female totally obsessed with male homosexuals...

17. What is Number 1 studying about?
Make-up.

18. When was the last time you had a chat with them?
Them? Quite recently.

19. Is Number 4 single?
Haha. No, but I wanna tease her about Mr Peh.

20.Say something about Number 2.
She understands me, listens to me, talks to me.

21. What do you think about Number 3 and 6 being together?
Lemon and Ting Ke? Not bad!

22.Describe Number 9.
Haha. Never judge her by her serious appearance.

23. What will you do if Number 6 and 7 fight?
Call Lemon for help.

Hmmm. Nothing on Number 8? Haha.

Quiz 3.

1. What’s your nickname?
Leaf? I don't quite respond to that yet.

2. How old are you?
Going on to seventeen, oh yeah!

3. When’s your birthday?
220292.

4. What’s your special skill?
I can be... Um... Incomprehensible.

5. What’s your horoscope?
Pisces, which I pronounce differently from most people.

6. Who passed this survey to you?
Jesslyn Kwang.

7. She’s your…?
Fellow MOSSPian.

8. What do you wanna talk about to him/her?
Next MOSSP outing?

9. What do you think of him/her?
Ego. Hahahahaha.

10. When did you know him/her?
3E3@2007.

11. How’s her attitude?
Ego. Hahahahaha. (I love you, Jess. *wink*)

12. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
So sudden. *cough* No.

13. If one day, your crush tells you that he/she loves you too, what will you do?
Haha my head off. Impossible.

14. Are you well-being now?
Quite.

15. Why does God give you courage?
Because my mind thinks too differently from others and I need it to choose my own path.

16. Who’s the people that you like?
What?

17. Which color do you like most?
Colourless is fine actually.

18. God give you 4 wishes:
1st: world peace
2nd: good health for family, friends and them
3rd: a peep into the future
4th: ...

19. Do you like to smile and laugh ?
Uh-huh. *smile* Haha.

2009.

2009-01-02T13:36:00.002+08:00

Another beginning after an ending.

Life appears to be like a Super Mario game, a new year being a higher level.

I believe I'll be fine (and kill all the mushrooms) eventually.

Fate will push me to the correct route... I was actually telling my mum that I wish to consult a fortune teller for my next step in education, haha. Maybe I will.

Wishing all a fruitful year ahead.